I’ve just walked around the house calculating the extent of the damage since Pickle moved in. Figuring he’s calmed down muchly, it’s about time we titivate the house somewhat and restore it to its former…ahem…glory:
1 x broken radiator cover
15 patches of scratched-off wallpaper
1 x wobbly spindle on staircase banister (shaken in prolonged moment of wrath).
1 x Banksy-style graffiti on Gherkin’s floor.
Numerous scribbles on walls in Pickle’s room, playroom, hallway, landing.
1x broken toy box
1x broken laundry basket (used as climbing frame)
1x broken ceiling shade
1x broken halogen mother-and-child lamp (beyond repair)
1x snapped dog collar (An actual collar. For the dog. On dog at time of snapping).
1x smashed toothbrush holder
Several dented surfaces, skirting boards, cupboards etc.
1x basketball-shaped hole in window (repaired long ago)
There were no broken bones in the breaking of the items on this inventory.